


Quiet Night

by jaxonkreide



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Immortality, Late Night Conversations, M/M, Philosophy, Short & Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-17
Updated: 2019-06-17
Packaged: 2020-05-13 19:27:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19257661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaxonkreide/pseuds/jaxonkreide
Summary: Both Loki and Anthony are unable to fall asleep. Instead, they share a quiet conversation.





	Quiet Night

**Author's Note:**

> I'm in a _mood_ today because hot weather and bright sunshine doesn't become me well rip
> 
> And nothing I did seemed quite able to snap me out of that mood, so I put on the [sound of wind chimes](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X7t--zPZdic) and just... wrote this
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

"Hey, Loki?" Anthony's voice sounded from the darkness. 

Loki and Anthony had lain down in bed quite a while ago. Though Loki had been unable to find any sleep, instead just looking up at the dark ceiling above him. There wasn't a particular thought that kept him awake, but his mind did not seem ready to settle. 

So Loki had stared up with an empty mind that still seemed to be screaming so loud.

Apparently, Anthony had also been unable to find sleep.

Did he know Loki was still awake as well, or did Anthony just take a guess and hope that Loki would still be able to hear him? Not that it mattered since Loki was still wide awake regardless.

"Yes, Anthony? What is it?"

Loki was met with silence and it stretched on for so long that he started to believe Anthony had fallen asleep before he'd gotten his thoughts in order, but when Loki turned his head and squinted in the dark, trying to make out Anthony, he saw the eyes of the other were still open, staring up at the ceiling as Loki had before.

His own shifting had Anthony turn his head towards Loki. 

Loki couldn't read Anthony's expression in the dark, wasn't sure if he could even in the light. It seemed like Anthony too was overwhelmed by his mind and yet couldn't put into words what was bothering him.

"Anthony?" Loki questioned again. Anthony startled in response, blinking a few times as if pulled out of deep thought by Loki, seemingly having forgotten that he'd gotten Loki's attention in the first place.

Loki thought he saw Anthony attempt to smile, before he was shifting again, his eyes landing back on the ceiling.

Loki was almost sure Anthony wouldn't talk again when the other opened his mouth at last.

"What's immortality like, Lokes?"

The question completely threw Loki, it hadn't been something he'd ever talked about with Anthony before. Hadn't allowed himself to think about Anthony's mortality and the possibility that he could give him an apple. These thoughts had still been blissfully out of his mind, only having been with Anthony for a short few years, not yet enough to change even a mortal overmuch.

Loki mustered Anthony as best as he could in the dark, trying to understand where the question came from. But Anthony did not seem to be concerned of his own mortality at all, every sign indicating his calmness.

Perhaps he just searched for some concrete thoughts that wouldn't slip his mind and just continue as an undercurrent like all of Loki's current thoughts. So many and yet none at all. He wouldn't find sleep tonight like this. 

Just like Anthony, Loki shifted back looking at the ceiling instead of his partner so close next to him.

"I don't know," Loki ventured honestly, letting Anthony's question play in his mind over and over again. "I have never been mortal, so I wouldn't know how to describe the difference of your mortal life to my immortal one. It is just normal to me."

And it was, Loki had been born like this, never had to think about how for some people his immortality may be unnatural or weird.

"Every single day is just one more day in my life however long it may end up being. I don't ever consciously think about how I'm immortal and others may not be. It does not really concern me, as it doesn't have much to do with my own life."

Loki stopped for a short moment, considering and then continued.

"Though, seeing as you are mortal, I might just start thinking more about how little time you have compared to mine in the end. But that doesn't detract from your own life and experiences at all. It is just shorter and perhaps in many ways faster than the life I am used to."

Now Loki fell silent again. Anthony didn't answer. He must have fallen asleep, lulled to sleep by Loki's voice.

He looked over to Anthony to confirm this but instead saw the other looking at him again, eyes still wide awake. Maybe wider than usual. Maybe they even had a slightly wet sheen to them.

"Why do you ask, Anthony? Is your own mortality bothering you?"

But Anthony merely shook his head, turning away from Loki again, yet this time he didn't stay quiet. Soft whispered words filling the air in the room.

"I don't know. I'm just..."

Anthony closed his eyes and Loki saw a tear coming free from the corner of Anthony's eye. Loki watched as it slowly slid down into Anthony's hair.

"Do you ever just feel empty? Nothing just really clicks, all the music you usually love seems grating on your mind. You don't feel like doing what you usually love, forcing yourself to go about your day as usual. Just being unable to get out of this weird funk you found yourself in and turning everything off and just listening to the silence makes it even worse."

Anthony turned back to Loki, looking at him with a wobbly smile.

"Can you still feel like that even if you're immortal?"

Loki smiled softly, moving his hand slowly as he went to cup Anthony's face in his hand, giving his partner enough time to refuse the touch if that's what he needed. Anthony allowed it.

"Of course, you can. It is not something that is dependent on how long you live. It is just... a thing. Just one more day in a life, even if this one might not stick out as any particular memory at all. Just one more day, nothing gained, nothing lost. Besides a small amount of time perhaps."

Anthony snorted lightly at his last sentence. It wasn't funny, but at least it had Anthony react in a way that wasn't. Wasn't. Wasn't like a calm air of sadness surrounded everything. Like snow had fallen over everything, deafening the sounds, turning everything white and the same.

Anthony's voice was even quieter than before. Tentative. Unsure of. Nothing really. Maybe Loki's intention in what he had said. And yet his words spoke of curiosity, usually burning warmly in his eyes. Now just somehow muted. But still visible under the thick layer of snow above the both of them.

"So you know this feeling too?"

Loki leaned forward, bringing their foreheads together as he closed his eyes and just breathed Anthony in. Answering after a few beats of silence.

"Yes."

Before Anthony could say more, Loki moved back again, shifting onto his back and looking at the ceiling again.

"For example, just today my beloved has been more silent than he usually is and it had my mind wander off. Thinking yet unthinking. I look up into the sky and see every star, but it is overwhelming, there is just so much. Too much."

Loki threw his hand up in the air, letting his magic dance as it painted the galaxy upon their ceiling.

"But then again, this is not all for me. The galaxy doesn't revolve around me, neither you. We're just two beings in this huge, endless space. Days of silence may be easily forgiven."

Loki looked towards Anthony. He was watching the sky with interest. Following the stars that had appeared from Loki's hand.

His eyes moving fast now, fascinated by Loki's magic.

Loki closed his eyes shortly, but without seeing the stars he had painted it was still quiet, only their breaths filling the shared room with sound.

Loki opened his eyes again, watching Anthony, face now softly illuminated by the light. 

Loki struggled, almost unable to break the silence.

"Do you want to hear?" He ended up saying in the end, not the usual edge in his words, but getting across his point nonetheless.

"Hear?"

Anthony still sounded confused.

"The silence."

Anthony contemplated his answer, looking towards Loki, before turning back to the sky.

"No."

Loki nodded and snapped his fingers, the sound of wind chimes filling the quiet air.

He saw Anthony smile, surprised. Not expecting a sound like this and yet pleased by the uncommon harmonies filling their space.

Loki turned back to the sky on their ceiling and watched the stars.

After a few minutes - his eyes had closed on their own - Loki felt Anthony taking his hand in his own.

"Thank you."

Loki smiled.


End file.
